Missing Sam
by DressageQueen
Summary: Jake's pov when Sam goes to San Francisco. Review!
1. Chapter 1

I ran from the house, tears streaming down my face, feeling more upset than I ever had before. _What if- No_, I told myself. Don't think about it. I ran to my horse's stall, took him out and jumped on bareback and bridle less before galloping away. I was too upset to think about how dangerous this could be. I pushed my horse, Storm, on and we ran and ran, for how long, I don't know, until I could finally bring myself to think about it. She's gone. My best friend, gone. Sure, she's still alive and we're under the same sun and all that, but she doesn't live next to me anymore. I can just jump on my horse and ride over. I'd have to get on a plane and go to San Francisco if I wanted to see her. Even then, she probably wouldn't want to see me anyway. Not after what I did to her. She almost died because of me. I almost killed my best friend. What if she never comes back? What if something goes wrong and she dies while she's in San Francisco and I won't get to say good-bye? Or what if she does come back, but she wants nothing to do with me? I'm lost without her.

This thought hits me hard, but I realize it's true. I'm a quiet person, and I don't say much or have very many close friends. But Sam, she always talked enough for the both of us, and she always seemed to be able to read my mind. Sure, she got annoying, but she's my best friend. We grew up together. My first memory is holding her when she's a baby. Then and there I make up my mind. I'm going to become a buckaroo. I'm going to the best I can with horses, I won't talk unless I have something important to say, I'll be an expert at roping, and I'll never take a car if I can ride a horse.

**Two Weeks Later**

"Jake, Quinn, come here. I want to talk to you." I hear my father call for me and my brother. That's rarely a good thing. As Quinn and I go up to my father, I'm relieved to see that he doesn't look mad. "I have a friend that works with Animal Control, and they just brought in two horses that have been abused. You two are the only ones on the ranch without their own horses, so I thought we could go look at the horses if you would be interested. They've been abused though, so this would be a big project." I was getting more excited by the second. _My own horse._ I'd wanted my own horse for a long time, one that belonged to _me_, not the ranch. Quinn and I nodded excitedly and my father said, "Okay, we'll go look at them on Saturday. Be ready at 7:00 in the morning."

On Saturday morning, I woke up early. I was so excited at the idea of getting my own horse. _Maybe, it'll help take my mind off of Sam, _I thought. Of course, I could never forget Sam, but hopefully the horse will help take away the pain. On the way to the Animal Control stables, Quinn talked nonstop. What color are the horses? Do they have names? How old are they? My dad didn't know much, just that they were young Quarter Horses, and that they were siblings. When we finally arrived, I hopped out of the truck and looked around. There were a few pastures that held horses. "Luke," a man came towards up. "I'm glad you could make it. Are these your kids?" "Yeah. Quinn, Jake, this is my friend Michael. He's the one who found the horses." Quinn and I both said hello and shook Michael's hand. "Well, come on over here and I'll show you the horses." He led us over to a pasture where two horses were grazing. One was a dark bay gelding, and the other one was a stunning black filly. "The gelding's four and the filly's three. The filly was beaten a lot more than the gelding, and she's can be pretty aggressive. You'll need to be careful when handling her." "I want her," I heard myself say. "Are you sure Jake," my father said. "She sounds like she'll need a lot of patients." I nodded. There was something about the black filly. She seemed… vulnerable. Like she wanted a friend, someone to trust. "That okay with you Quinn," my father asked. "Totally. I don't want the filly. She sounds crazy. Besides, I already know what I'm gonna name _my _horse. Chocolate Chip. Because that's what his color reminds me of." "Alright then. Let's load them into the trailer," Michael said. He gave us each a halter and opened the gate for us to go catch our horses. As Quinn and I walked into the pasture, both horses looked up. Chocolate Chip came wandering over while the black filly pinned her ears and walked away. Quinn easily got the halter on his horse and began to walk from the pasture. Seeing her brother leave, the filly started after him, but I got the lead rope around her neck and the halter on before she could get away. As I started to walk towards the gate, she resisted at first, but then walked on, even though she was more prancing than waking quietly. It took a while to load them, but they eventually went in. On the way home, I thought about what I could name my filly, but I couldn't come up with the perfect name. Charcoal, Onyx, Thundercloud, nothing seemed to fit. When we got home, Quinn and I put our horses in a pasture together then leaned against the fence watching them. Our brothers came out to see our new horses. "They're nice looking animals," said Adam. "Yeah," said Nate, as he leaned over the pet my filly. Before I could tell him not to though, she bit him. "Ow!" he yelled. "What a Bi- I mean Witch," he said. "That's it," I cried. "What's it?" asked Bryan. "Her name. I'll call her Witch." "Well it certainly suits her," said Nate.

As the weeks went by, I spent a lot of time with Witch. While she could definitely be challenging, she was beginning to trust me more and more. I still missed Sam more than ever, but it was nice to have a friend, even if that friend was a horse. Witch was very stubborn, which reminded me a lot of Sam. I also learned that Witch was very fast. It was nice to win when I raced with my brothers. The only horse that could sometimes beat us was Chip. When school started, I spent all my time doing my work so I could go spend time with Witch. One day, I was out riding when I ran into Wyatt, Sam's dad. "That's a nice looking horse you got there Jake. Your dad told me how well you' doing with her training. I was wondering if you'd like to come work for me by training horses." I was stunned for a second. I wanted to work for Wyatt, but at the same time, I haven't been to River Bend since Sam- I didn't want to think about it. "Let me think about it and I'll get back to you," I said. He nodded, then turned his horse and rode off.


	2. Chapter 2

I thought about whether or not I should take the job from Wyatt or not. Even though I missed Sam, I know I need to get on with my life, no matter how hard it hurts. In doing ranch chores around the ranch, I learned that if I work hard enough, I'm too tired and my dreams aren't fill with the nightmares that plagued me before.

Over the next few weeks, I threw my energy into getting the best grades I could at school, training for the cross-country team, doing my chores at home, training Witch, and working colts for Wyatt. At first, it was hard going over to River Bend and knowing Sam wouldn't be there. But it eventually got easier. I thought Wyatt would hate me, after what I did to his daughter. But he never mentioned anything. I'm pretty sure Grace, Sam's grandma, writes to her. I went into the kitchen one day and saw her writing something. When Grace noticed me, she shoved the paper under a placemat and asked if I wanted anything to eat. But a part of the paper was sticking out and I noticed it said, _Dear Sam. _ I wondered what she would do if I wrote to her. Probably throw it away.

We had a new neighbor. His name was Linc Slocum and he was a wannabe cowboy with a big wallet and an even bigger attitude. He bought off three surrounding ranches and even tried to buy Three Ponies and River Bend. Even though times are hard right now, Wyatt would never sell, and neither would my dad. He was also greedy. When Linc first heard about the legendary Phantom stallion, you he wanted that horse. Bad. He hired men to go out and catch him. But no one ever could.

I was becoming a decent tracker too. I could follow the tracks of almost anything, and would have my brothers go riding then I would find them. I was getting stronger and more observant. I knew if Sam ever came back, Iwould protect her with my life. "Jake?" I looked up from my food, startled. "Are you okay? You seem distant," my mother said. "Of course he's distant. He's thinking about Sam. It's all he ever thinks about," stated Quinn. I glared at him, then quickly finished eating so I could be excused. I was tired of my family. Tired of the pitying looks, especially from my mom, and all the comments my brothers made about me and Sam, even if they were true. "Your grandfather would like for you to visit him," said Dad. "I'll drive you to the reservation tomorrow morning. Be ready." I nodded, then went to the kitchen to wash my plate before going upstairs to pack. I liked my grandfather. Sure, he was a little weird at times, but he respected me, and if I didn't want to talk about something, he wouldn't push it.

The next morning, my dad drove me to my grandfather's house on the reservation. It was a quiet morning and I spent the hour long drive looking out the window wondering how Sam was doing. She was probably faring better than I was. When we arrived, Grandfather was already waiting outside. I hopped out of truck and he said, "Put your stuff in the house then let's go for a walk." As we walk up the path behind his house he told me about the first time he had met Sam. Our families were at a rodeo, and Sam wouldn't leave my side for a minute. She was in awe of all the animals and was torn between staying with me and looking at all the horses in their paddocks and watching the events with me. Sam had stayed with me and fell asleep on my lap on the way home. I remembered that day. My brothers had teased me for weeks. Grandfather made the excuse that he needed to start dinner and went back to the house. I walked along slowly, wondering why he had told me all that. Grandfather never told a story without having a reason.

When I got back to the house, my grandfather said, "Wyatt wants us to go to the BLM corrals to pick out a new horse for you to start training. We'll leave tomorrow at 7:00." I was excited to start working with another horse, and that Wyatt trusted me to pick it out myself. I wondered what kind of horse I would choose. What color it would be, if it would be a mare or gelding, what its temperament would be like.


	3. Chapter 3

When we arrived at the BLM corrals the next day, we were greeted by a man who introduce himself as the manager. As we wandered around looking at the horses, I noticed a small bay gelding standing being picked on by some bigger horses. "What about him?" I asked, pointing at the horse. "We brought him in a few days ago. As you can see, he gets picked on quite a bit." I studied the horse. I'm usually not affected by animals that aren't treated well by other animals, but there was something about this horse that made me want to help him. "I want him," I said. "Are you sure?" my grandfather asked. I nodded.

When my grandfather dropped me off at River Bend, I hopped out then carefully backed the gelding out of the trailer and put him in the round pen. He ran around and neighed to the other horses. I heard footsteps behind me and tuned to see Wyatt. "Is this the horse you picked out?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. Suddenly I was worried that Wyatt would only see this horse as a skinny, small, beat up gelding, but he only nodded and said, "I'll trust your instincts for getting this horse. What should we call him?" "How about Ace," I said. "It's short and positive." "Alright then," he responded, then walked off. I gave Ace some water and hay then just sat outside the round pen and watched him. He would be the perfect size for Sam, I realized with a laugh. Sam was always so short. I wonder if she grown any taller. I then realized that it had been over a year since she left. I felt the familiar guilty feeling I always got when I thought about her leaving. As much as I didn't want her gone, I knew it was my fault that she was, and I shouldn't be complaining. I knew I had to prepare myself for if she didn't come back, but I couldn't. It was hard to live without her, and there were all kinds of things that would remind me of her. Whenever someone was especially stubborn, or if I ever saw someone with her hair color, or sometimes I would think I heard her voice of laugh, only to turn and see a random person. At school, there were girls that would ask me out, but there was always something wrong with them. They were too tall, too short, talked too much, didn't talk enough, I could always find something. I never thought of Sam as anything more than a friend, but I couldn't see myself dating anyone else. I wonder if she's dating anyone. I know I shouldn't be bothered by this thought, but I am.

I came out of my thoughts to see Ace had walked over to the rail and was looking at me. Progress. I decided to try to push him any further, so I went into the barn to clean tack until someone came to pick me up.

Three Weeks Later

I pushed myself to run harder and faster. I was training for the school cross-country team. Witch ran beside me, her breathing even, though we had been running for at least five miles. She didn't need a halter or lead. She would follow me where ever I went. It sounds pathetic, but Witch had become my best friend. I have some friends at school, there's a guy named Darrell and some other guys, but I always look forward to seeing Witch after school. I realize now that I was in a pretty bad place when Sam left. I might have injured or even killed myself if I hadn't had Witch for a distraction. My life was a blur right after Sam had first left. I would sit in my room and cry for a long time. I didn't eat for a while, and I see now how worried my family, especially my mom, was. I'm a lot quieter now, and I've put on a lot of muscle. I don't ask for help as much and I try not to complain when I'm given a chore I don't particularly like, such as mending fences. I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way to being a buckaroo.


	4. Chapter 4

It was two years since Sam had left. I was starting to give up the thought of her ever coming back to River Bend. I tried to write a letter to her a few times, but whatever I wrote never sounded right. This morning, I had gotten up at 5:30 like I usually do, did my chores, and I was now riding over to River Bend to work Pocahontas, a paint mare I was helping to train for a little girl. When I got to river Bend, I noticed Wyatt's truck was gone, so I went up to the house to ask Grace what was going on. I went in the kitchen to find Grace rushing around baking with the biggest smile on her face. "What's going on," I asked. She froze and her smile slipped for a second before she said hesitantly, "Sam's coming home today." I didn't know how to respond, so I only nodded, pulled down my hat brim and went outside. Sam was coming home today? I was shocked, nervous, and a little excited all at the same time. I was scared she would hate me, but what if she didn't? She was my best friend after all. I knew people would make assumptions if we hung out again like we used to, and I didn't want her to have to deal with the gossip, so I would try to get her some new friends. I also didn't want any attention drawn to me, but I knew it would be inevitable. As I worked with Pocahontas, I was so caught up with my thoughts I didn't even notice the truck until it came and parked near the round pen. This startled me, which in turn startled Pocahontas, and she bucked. I flew off and came to a stop near the rail. I looked up to see Sam resting against the railing.

She looked different. All of her clothes were black and her hair was cut super short. I didn't realize until then how much I had liked her long hair. The red in it would catch the light, and as sappy as it sounds, I was always mesmerized by it. The black clothes weren't like her either. Sam always wore bright clothes that matched her personality. This seemed like a different person. A strange look passed over her face, but it quickly passed and she asked me what was wrong in a teasing tone like nothing had changed. She didn't seem to hate me, but she also didn't seem to want to acknowledge the accident. I knew we would have to at some point, but I didn't want to push it. I stood up, slapped the dust from my hat, and made a western comment on how skinny she still was. The truth was, she was too skinny. Even though she had a baggy shirt on, it just made her seem smaller. I found out later that Wyatt was giving Sam Ace. I was surprised at first, but I then realized why Ace had seemed so right when I picked him out. They were both opinionated, but they would make a good team once they got to know each other.

It was the morning of the cattle drive. Everyone stopped to watch as Sam tacked up Ace and mounted. But, she had forgotten to tighten the cinch, so when she tried to mount, the saddle slipped. I felt bad and immediately went forward to help her, but she just muttered, "Don't even think about it." She obviously didn't think of me the same way anymore. Before, she would have let me helped then we would've laughed about it together, but now she acts as though she's angry at me. I had hoped we could talk on the cattle drive, but since Sam obviously doesn't want to talk, I'll just try to stay out of her way.


End file.
